Abuse Survivor Quotes

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SOCIAL PERSPECTIVE QUOTES

"The syndrome of malignant narcissism, originated by psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg, has been widely used by political psychologists to characterize leaders who pose a threat to civil society, political stability, and world order."
Malignant Leadership by Aubrey Immelman

"Hello. Recognize me? No? Well, you see me all the time. You read my books, watch me on the big screen, feast on my art, cheer at my games, use my inventions, vote me into office, follow me into battle? Of course you recognize me. I am your inspiration, your role model, your savior, your leader, your best friend, the one you aspire to emulate, the one whose favor makes you glow.
But I can also be your worst nightmare."
"Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" By Dr. Sam Vaknin
The Introduction: The Habitual Identity - Ken Heilbrunn, M.D.

Member Quotes

"Ultimately, evil can push just so far. Then we take a stand against it."

"It wasn't until yesterday when I was having a conversation with a sociologist who, after listening to me for about five minutes, suggested I research narcissists. I thought "Narcissists? Those are the people who look in mirrors a lot, self absorbed..."
I had no idea what I was about to look up..."

"He went to treatment, and conned everyone there. His case manager called ME to defend him. A few of my co-workers felt I was "too angry", he was getting help, after all. So I caved. This time, he doesn't have the community around him to "defend" him. Only one person commented to me "He seems to be really trying". She has bruises on her arms all the time from him throwing her around."

"My heart is wrapped in razor wire & concrete. The 'Christian' XN D&Ded me at church, saying he loved me then disappeared. Such a coward. I can't go to church, my girls can't go because we all have those memories of the xn laying on the church floor crying about what a Christian he was and while we were engaged & he was asking OWs to marry him."

"Reminds me of the time we went to a restaurant for what I thought would be a nice dinner, a pleasant relief from his anger. A couple sat down next to us. I was exhausted from all the abuse that day and because I didn't sit there smiling and bubbly, he picked up a knife and held it above the table in a fist, took a deep breath and slowly, slowly lowered the knife down as if he was going to stab the table. A not so veiled threat of what could happen to me if i didn't play by his rules. I sat there in horror of what he was doing right there in full view of others. Terrorist? Can't count the number of times he called western women whor..s and voiced his hatred of the west. He has applied for a green card. I wonder what his intentions are? I've notified the American embassy in Turkey but they didn't reply."

"We glorify elected officials, sports idols and entertainment figures as the backbone of our national culture now -- and they are common criminals and Ns so often. LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR instead of best and brightest. Our own country's downfall, in just my lifetime."

"I live in California where you just aren't breathing if you don't know a narcissist. In fact, I think it is so much the prescribed way of life here that you could explain narcissism for an hour and the majority of people would just say, "What's the big deal? Sounds pretty normal to me."

"Some good advice I was given - pick your friends, and beware of people who pick you."

"Everyone here is supposed to be, is going to be, used to be and will be again rich and entitled; and anything you need to do to get that way is justifiable. I mean even the homeless people kill each other for the prime spots under the bridges. People getting government aid drive fancy cars. A guy who does some handyman work for me once in a while for money to feed the kids showed up the other day wearing a gold chain as thick as your thumb. I pointed to it and said "I think you've blown your credibility." He had no idea what I was talking about. I usually refer to this place as "the land of the overentitled."

"My greatest concern has become the lack of alternatives to just releasing these people on an unknowing society."

"In our newspaper this morning there was an article about a woman going through a divorce. The man was very violent and before the woman left she took video of several loaded unsecured guns in the house. They were propped up against the walls in every room. The woman was fighting for sole custody saying her childrens welfare was in danger. They had been in court 3 times and each time the judge refused to look at the video. She (the judge) ordered family services to go out and check out his house but somehow the order got "lost" in the system and the last time they went to court the judge just took her husbands "word" for it that the guns were secured and awarded the husband joint custody. Well, today their 13 year old son committed suicide with one of the guns and when family services did go out there they said the place was a pig stye and there were unsecured guns everywhere. What is with our court systems?"

"Corporations, Non-profits, Institutions, Families and individual relationships all operate to offer the Narcissist a thriving environment in which to exhibit both skills and the extent of the personality disorder which drives them. Both capitalism and democracy cater to the "self serving" to a degree unknown in prior history, and is being transported throughout the world as the foundation of success and prosperity. But whose success, and whose prosperity?

Looking closely, and examining the results of success, and prosperity, it may be possible to identify that the "lack of fairness" felt in general populations is a direct outgrowth of the prevalence of NPD-run amok to produce a "have and have-not" society which no one can avoid, or be free from. It's isn't possible to ignore or escape from NPD simply by carefully insulating oneself from those who would use others for personal advantage. Since NPD is all about creating personal advantage at the expense of others, we are all drawn into the identification and management of this very human disease, for quality of life, as well as for personal security."

"Learning about the N thing has changed everything in my life. Now I see the world with new eyes, not least that I see Ns in power all over the place and see how history has been formed with Ns in power. In fact I began to feel pretty sad about history and the world."

"She will create chaos and then sit calmly in the midst of it, sipping coffee, watching us we run around sorting it out. It's unreal. Everyone she comes into contact with, seems to have been drained emotionally or financially or both."

"My N father owned his own business for a very good reason - the only jobs he ever got prior to that were those that HIS father got for him, and he was fired from the last one! When you are the owner of your own business, you are essentially the dictator in a small kingdom."

"The string of businesses Dad set up could have worked except they kept failing because he was so cruel and abusive to office girls and his salespeople (yelling at them over nothing) that they repeatedly did dirties (e.g connected with suppliers and did secret deals with customers cutting him out). He does not see his part in alienating their loyalty. He plays victim "I gave them a job and they crapped on me".

"N is a union rep at his work. He would like to climb the ladder at work but is not prepared to put in the necessary effort so the next best thing is to ponce around spouting union propaganda (solidarity brother). There's nothing he likes more than to get in people's faces and bludgeon them with his views, especially members of management."

"Well, the only reason my ex n owns his business is because his father originally owned it and unfortunately passed away..and that is the reason he got the business..other then that..I have no idea what he would have become...don't get me wrong ..he is smart but I just can't see him working at a "regular" job taking orders from someone else...I always tried to picture what he would have been and for the life of me I cannot. And you are right, it is his own little kingdom..."

"I didn't believe in the death penalty until after P. Now I do!!!!!!!"

"My N from hell stepson only has a business because his dad sold it to him. My NSS couldn't manage a p*ss up in a brewery much less starting a business. However, given one - a successful one at that and he is ruthless beyond words. My NSS was biding his time, waiting for his dad to hand over the keys."

"My ex had several jobs and he couldn't work with people in a long term. He would get aggitated and blame everyone for everything. He was let go or he would quit in some dramatic way. Then he formed his own company with a partner. I was releived that he would have a job forever, after all, who was going to fire him? Well......they decided to bring in a third partner and guess what? They voted him out because of his psyco behavior. It was all my fault you know. I was to never hear the end of it. To this day he still does not have a job. He has joined the army."

"It's hard to wait for the N to show his purpose now, but he has to lie low to make up for the hell he's caused in the past. But it'll happen eventually. I'd love to see him get his comeuppance, but he strategically puts himself into a position of financial and opportunistic immunity. They're good at that aren't they?"

"There was a girl who worked for him for a few years. She stopped working for him basically because he made her work long hours with no days off...because he was short handed...as he always is..because he is such a bad boss..well..he asked her to come back this year and she did..reluctantly...and within 3 weeks she had enough and walked off the job and didn't come back...all he had to say was..."I can't believe she betrayed me like that...I was good to her."

"My best friend and I worked for her until she fired us (at different times), although she tries to make everyone believe we quit. During that year and a half or so, we became very clear of the seriousness of her hateful and destructive nature. I couldn't take any more of her rages and just plain negative energy. When I left her employ I was a wreck for 2 weeks, couldn't find peace, couldn't think straight, or clean the house, or anything. It takes time to recover. I later learned that other employees had to heal in time after quitting. She is only down to a handful of people now and I hear they are looking around. I have cut her completely out of my life now and have found this is the only way to never be her victim again. She has tried and succeeded in turning some of my siblings against me. It makes me sick to think that they will sell their souls to the devil for what she can monetarily offer them."

"We met during the Viet Nam era. His parents wanted him to go to Sweden and they'd keep sending him money. He told me that he refused, telling his parent that he wouldn't desert his country and joined the US Coast Guard. After we were married, I found that he refused to wear his dog tags, and was practically crying when he was told he would have to go to sea. I couldn't understand how anyone who had join the US Coast Guard thought that the regulations applied to everyone else and that he'd always have shore duty."

How many people do I have to kill before I get my name in the paper or some national attention?"
The Notorious BTK Killer, Witchita Eagle Archives

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